Hawaii

“We have to get you on a plane. You have 7 days, Megg.” I couldn’t believe what I was hearing my mentor say.

I sat there thinking, “This guy is crazy.” He probably saw me subliminally shaking in my boots because he followed up with, “Think about it.” But I jumped, “No, I am ready for this! I’m in.”

That was Wednesday. From the moment I said yes, it felt like everything was rushing forward at 120 miles per hour. The next day I began making a dream list, asking myself a few questions: “What will this look like?” “Where do I want to go?”. Dreaming is healthy and important. But sometimes our dreams, no matter how big we think they already are, are still susceptible to God coming in and saying, “No, bigger!”. That evening I get a call out of the blue. It’s a friend on the other end of the line asking me to join her on 7 day missions trip in Hawaii. It was going to be with a traveling missions organization called Project Reach: Revive hope, Empower people, Activate vision, Challenge limits, Harness your purpose. I could run with that. I said “Yes!”. But instead of leaving in 7 days, this mission trip began in just 5. Now I was running at 250 miles per hour. Just a short time after, I was packed and I jumped on a plane to a place that wasn’t even on my radar. God is so funny sometimes.

I arrived and I knew I’d need to pay $100 to cover my food and housing during the mission trip. I was happy to pay it. But for a girl on the run with the Gospel, not knowing where she might end up, $100 could go a long way. To my surprise, when I showed up, the $100 fee was waved and instead I was handed the title of a mission leader. What a trade! God is good!

Air conditioning is nothing short of a miracle in Hawaii. The humidity, as a norm, runs about 85%. Our first night on missions we stayed in a little sanctuary that was icy-cold. But our cool night of rest ended abruptly with a blow horn the next morning. We set off to our first adventure. We began tending to a yard that belonged to a woman connected to Project Reach. We mowed, moved flower beds, trimmed, and took out trash. Before we finished, I saw the neighbor walking over with mangos. I went over and introduced myself. I asked her to tell me about herself, and she began telling me her story. Before she went on her way, I asked if I could pray for her. She agreed. After that, I could see how listening, a hug, and a little encouragement had gone a long way. But it didn’t stop there. Before we knew it, our team had migrated over to her yard and began working on it as well. Loving your neighbors had never felt so natural.

As we worked on her yard I was filled with ambition. I had my eyes set on a dead palm just asking to be cut down. I lead my small group of girls over. But as I, their leader, began chopping, berries fell from the top. I bent down to get a better look. As I did, I felt an enormous sting on my back. “Remain calm, remain calm, they’re watching,” I told myself. I’d been stung by an angry wasp. Instantly, my mind races to the worst reality, “What if I’m allergic?” “What if I can’t get help at a hospital?” “What if I die?” and “My parents are going to have to pay for my funeral!”. I was thinking about what an unfortunate start to the journey this was. Thankfully, I found out that I’m not allergic. Turns out that Benedryl and ice are my friends. A was only left with a numb, buzzing feeling on my back for the remainder of the day. So glad I lived! Now I just have to laugh at myself. Funny how we can go from the best intentions to the worst expectations if we let fear in. That little wasp had nothing on me though.

After a long day of work, we showered as fast as we could. We only had two minutes maximum. Thankfully due to an earlier adventure in 2018, I knew I was capable of such fast showering. Though this shower head was only as high as my waist!

We ended the night back at the church. The preparing, flying, and hard work had finally caught up with me. I fell asleep blogging. But not long before the sound horn woke us up again.

Day 3 - Thursday

Every day we were off to a new location. We started our hour and a half road trip to a place called Hamakua. We were stuffed into a little, 15-passenger van full of youth. No phones were allowed. It was time to focus on the mission at hand. But I knew that I had work to get done. I asked to sit in the front so I could access my emails. But instead of the work flow I expected, I got additional messages that I hadn’t anticipated. It was news I didn’t want to receive. But it had arrived in my inbox nonetheless. Instantly, I began to feel shame, distance, and the sense of being completely overwhelmed. I knew this would be hard to work through while trying to lead all the smiling faces behind me. I was just getting to know them, and I didn’t want them to get the wrong idea. Before I knew it, we arrived. Right off the bat I have a conversation with someone that made me feel a little rejected. It was like adding insult to injury in that moment. I didn’t know if I could take anymore. But I knew I was just triggered. I needed to talk to someone. Before making lunch, I grabbed my friend and we headed out on a walk. I expressed everything my heart was feeling and we talked it through. There was a lot of new frustration that surfaced that day. But I found that my greatest fear wasn’t that I wouldn’t be able to figure out the next step, make big decisions, or the potential roadblocks I might face. Those were all things that crossed my mind and left me in desperation, but they weren’t my deepest fear. I asked myself, “What do I need to live? Now that I know what I need, what do I want?” It was then that I realized what I both needed and wanted more than anything: His Presence. I was afraid that this adventure, this giant risk I was taking, the work I was taking on, would erase the intimacy I’d worked so hard to create with my Father. “What if this was all for nothing?”. It was all about intimacy with Him. If I lost that, then I gained nothing, no matter what I did. My friend and I prayed, and she spoke declarations over me. I felt like I could breathe again. It’s crazy how being vulnerable with someone will break off shame and release hope again. My day didn’t have to stay that way. I made the decision that it wouldn’t.

I believe if we know God, then we know He has a sense of humor. After a breakdown, a recovery couldn’t look any better than a marshmallow chocolate fight between leaders and the youth. What perfect timing! It was like dodge ball with dessert! And a sweet dessert it was. As competition increased, deep laughter roared through the group. Smiling faces covered in chocolate were everywhere. Fun took over. It was just what my heart needed after a hard day. Sometimes when we face disappointment, we need to feel it, but then we just need to play. We must become like children. He knew what He was doing when He told us that.

But His humor and His kindness didn’t end there. We went down to the water. It was this gorgeous, ocean look-out. All the kids surf; they could swim in their sleep if they wanted to. But then there’s me, who doesn’t swim. My first mistake was admitting this to them; they left me no choice. They called me in and I wouldn’t be able to resist for long. They said I could stay in the “shallow end”, but I knew that meant “water up to your neck” in Hawaii. I jumped. The waves were coming in strong, but I landed in what felt like the most freeing and fun moment of the entire trip. Those intimidating waves felt like tickles and they sent me into a storm of laughter. I felt the Father so close, as if He were just holding me in the ocean. With every wave, I could just hear Him and feel Him saying, “Daughter, I love you, I love you, I love you.” I couldn’t get enough. It was the strangest and most exhilarating thing. I was laughing so hard people began asking if I was okay. But I knew how my day had started. I came from a broken place where I could have chosen to stay in anger, shame, fear, and disappointment, but instead I chose to be vulnerable. I allowed myself to feel and later experience breakthrough in the place that I wasn’t naturally comfortable - open water. He’s always faithful to meet us in our pain; but He never leaves us there if we are willing to follow Him out. Even if it means following Him out to the places where we aren’t the most comfortable. He knows where our breakthrough lies. We just have to keep saying “yes.”

Friday, Day 4

Friday we arrived in Hilo. A school in Hilo is where revival started hundreds of years ago and 1,705 people were baptized in one day. Here it was also super humid and by this time our clothes stunk from working outside. I’d only packed one pair of work jeans. But here we were, standing in a gym, super hot, full expectation for a powerful time. One of the leaders shared her testimony with a couple of us. It brought incredible encouragement to my heart that God would remind me of His goodness, thousands of miles from home. Again, He didn’t stop there. We each had small groups. Mine had 5 girls in it. They were young girls, each powerful in their own way. The two who I’d like to share about were 12 & 13 years old: Rise and Rival. Rise spent so much time during the trip affirming me and loving on me. I kept saying internally, “Who are you?”. She was just a kid, and yet she made me feel so seen and so loved. Rival, carried this amazing pastoral gifting and loved the Lord so beautifully. She had an ability to speak that was beyond her years. She could understand the Word and explain it in a way that others could easily understand it. These two were something special.  

During worship that night, the worship leader called up the leaders, and we headed up front. Looking over the sweaty room, she asks the kids, who wants to know God more, to come up and get prayer. Rival had been closed off a little bit that week. I was shocked when the first girl that made her way up was in fact she, “Megg, I want to know Him more, to give all my life to Him, and I want to be all in”. My heart shook inside of me watching this 12 year old girl give everything to Jesus. I called on the Holy Spirit and I released declarations and identity over her and I called out her gifts. Then, Rise followed. This beautiful champion had already received prayer from another leader and had come over to pray for me! Again I found myself asking, “Who are you?”. She began speaking over me and I felt myself fall apart. What she did was no small thing. She continued the night by praying over others in the room. The week had been hard, but the payoff was this: watching these beautiful young people come into a deeper understanding of who their good Father is and share it. I felt like a proud mom.

Saturday, Day 5

            The week moved into Saturday. I started the day by packing and helping with breakfast. We loaded up and traveled to Keaau. It’s time to clean more yards, and by now I’m thinking that I’m a pro. But the day would soon prove me wrong.

            Everyone needed long sleeves, pants, and gloves for this job. We were facing off with elephant grass. While it looks beautiful, it’s a splinter-filled, unforgiving devil in disguise. One touch and it feels like you have tiny needles carving into your extremities. Our job was to take it all down, load it up onto a tarp, and dump it in the forest. We completed our task and began picking up the large tarp as a group to move it to the forest. It was heavier than expected. We gradually and carefully made our way beneath the canopy. We stopped and began counting to 3 to lift and dump. But instead of lifting, I went down, straight into a hole. Not only did I fall into said hole, I followed that stunt by less than gracefully face planting into the elephant grass. “Oh, my gosh! Megg!” My friends were shouting. I couldn’t get up. Thankfully I wasn’t injured, but my ego may have been. I was embarrassed and hilariously amused at the same time. We left for the gym where we would be staying that night. While everyone is crowding the small bathrooms to get ready, I found a nice piece of concrete and fell asleep hard until dinner. I didn’t want to ruin my cot with the stickers of death. Besides, any cool, flat surface would do at this point of exhaustion.

That night during worship, the Lord took me back to when I was a young girl. “Lord I give You my heart, I give You my soul, I live for You alone”; the anthem played in my ears and tugged at a nostalgic place in my heart that only the Lord knew. As we continued to sing, I melted, remembering my first Love. I heard this song when I was 15 and I found the Lord. God was speaking sweet nothings to me in ways no other person would be able to truly understand, but that’s because He knows me. We have a relationship. We have intimacy, whether I’m on my knees at home or on the outskirts of town in Hawaii. He sees me, and forgets nothing.

To close the trip, we shared testimonies on Sunday after work and breakthrough blew through the place. He’s never late. The next day, the final day, we stopped at the black sand beach, Punaluu, and 2 kids get baptized in the water. There was no sweeter way than ending with a picture of redemption.

Breakdowns, desserts, messy adventures, kids falling in love with Jesus, and simply increasing intimacy with Jesus: this is what I came for. And what a way to start off the trip around the world. This is only the beginning next stop Costa Rica.

Special Thanks To:

Chuntel Perreira, the woman who knew I would say yes to this trip. She loved, championed, and hugged me so beautifully during this adventure. Not only was she a safe place but she was also the rock that allowed me to remember where my foundation lies. She is also the incredible photographer who took both the cover/video photo, in addition to others on the page.

Cason getting to be a part of your small group was EVERYTHING, partnering with you was a true gift.

Special shout out to my dear friend and encouraging advocate who offered to write for me during the journey, Bekah Odle. Though thousands of miles away I felt as if she was near me the entire way!

Big thank you to Uncle Villi for creating such beautiful and compelling video. Uploaded by hawaii_exposure on 2019-07-28.

And lastly, the entire Leadership team of Travelling Missions. Thank you for opening your arms to the new girl on the Island. Thank you for empowering and loving me in such a way that I felt seen and known. Each of you are equipping the next generation, so grateful for your heart and love for these kids!